Do you know the secret to manifesting a conscious life partner and creating a healthy romantic relationship? Take a guess! No, it is not creating vision boards and putting pictures of good-looking celebrities on it. Even though that might be nice to look at.
When it comes to law of attraction, one of the biggest pieces people miss is being able to step into the next version of themselves, before they have what they want. The missing piece is not the process or the action, it is the feelings. After all, we think we want things, but what we really want is the feeling that comes with things like the house, the money, and the relationship. Take a second guess!
No, it is not losing weight, changing your wardrobe or your hair color, either. Although those might make you feel better in the beginning.
Allow me to introduce you to someone. Once upon a time, there was a woman who seemed to have it all. She had a master’s degree, married a well-respected man, lived on the beach in Miami, had a healthy son, and was driving her dream car. All her friends admired her life, but she was confused. Even though she had everything anyone could ever want, she felt empty inside.
After discovering that she was co-dependent, and that she had a pattern of attracting narcissistic men, she courageously embarked on a journey of deep transformation and empowerment.
This journey also helped her find her purpose, which is to help people who struggle with co-dependency, low self-esteem and the pattern of attracting narcissistic or emotionally unavailable partners. She teaches men and women how to heal from toxic relationships, take their power back and create healthy, long-lasting and deep connections.
Why am I telling you my story? A few reasons. I want my story to inspire you, to let you know that you are not alone on this journey and to show that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I know it can be challenging to see it sometimes, and, if you are willing to do the inner work, you can also heal, embody your power and manifest the relationship of your dreams. Are you ready? Let’s dive right in!
Here are the 7 steps to get ready for a healthy relationship.
1. Connect to your deepest desires
We all have limiting beliefs and stories that we tell ourselves. These subconscious patterns can affect many areas of our lives, including our romantic relationships. Getting to know yourself on a deeper spiritual level helps you understand where you stand within the relationship container. If you don’t take the time to do this inner work, you might make the mistake of choosing a partner from your mind, rather than your heart.
Once you get to know yourself better, you will also know what your needs are both on an individual level and inside the relationship container. This allows you to communicate those needs to your partner.
This is a very important foundation for getting your needs met as it will allow your partner to know your needs and your love language.
2. Fall in love with yourself
When we truly love ourselves, we also show people how to love us. Unfortunately, a lot of people are self-judgmental. They praise others but judge and criticize themselves often without even realizing it.
When we judge our body, for example, it affects us on a cellular level, and our nervous system needs regulation after. Our body feels like it is being attacked, and it is no one but us who is the attacker. If you struggle with body image, I highly recommend mirror work. This involves you standing in front of a full-size mirror, and finding and naming the body parts that you love. Maybe you like your collar bones, eyes, shoulders or legs. Tell your body part that you love it, and then, give yourself a big hug and, tell yourself that you love yourself.
I love guiding my clients through EFT tapping practice to rewire their brain and help them step into radical self-love and acceptance.
3. Get Clear on your values
Most of us either don’t know what our values are, or, we adopted our parent’s or society’s values without giving it much thought. If you are not clear with your values, it is very difficult to live in alignment with them.
You can google ‘values assessment” and find out what your top 3 values are. It is also important to get clear on your boundaries so you can create a healthy relationship dynamic and attachment to your partner.
Living and making decisions that are in alignment with your values with benefit your relationships and other areas of your life.
4. Be accountable
In a world where everyone’s ex is toxic, let’s be accountable. Before you get upset, let me explain.
One person cannot make or break the relationship. Both parties are responsible 100 % for the success of the relationship, as well as the ending of it. Notice that I did not say 50%. At the end of the day, a happy relationship needs two happy adults to start with, then you get to share it, and contribute to each other’s happiness.
This does not mean that we have to make all relationships work. It just means that we get to become aware of our own wounds, and how we showed up in relationships before. This will allow us to take responsibility for our own happiness, which directly affects the relationship container.
5. Become aware of your patterns and limiting beliefs
Are you tired of attracting toxic people into your life? I feel you on that. I used to be that person who was a magnet for narcissists. Understanding this pattern and why I attracted them was a key turning point in my journey.
Our beliefs around love and relationships play a big role in who we attract as partners. We also learn the romantic relationship dynamics from our parents’ marriage and the way they showed up for each other.
If you are not in a relationship with your soul mate right now, and you have been trying to manifest him/her for some time now, we can look at your previous relationships and there is a very big chance that there is a pattern. You might be attracting partners who are emotionally unavailable, or even toxic. You might be attracting partners who are afraid of commitment. When there is a misalignment between who you want to attract and who you attract, there is inner work that you can to do shift that pattern. The first step is awareness and then being open to asking for support.
6. No Man/Woman Diet
It is common to get disconnected from your hobbies, friends or activities that give you joy when you are in a relationship. You might start doing more things that you both like and stop doing the things that only you like less and less. Especially if you are with a toxic person, they might try to isolate you or weaken your relationship with your family or friends. When you are single, it is so powerful to connect back to your own hobbies and things that give you joy. This is also part of the inner child healing and reparenting process that I teach.
A good way to start is to think back to your childhood and remember what gave you the most joy. Playing hop scotch or jumping on the trampolines with my 7-year-old son give me so much joy and make my inner child happy.
7. Embodiment and somatic practices
There are so many tools to help us heal from toxic relationships, step into our power, and create the relationship of our dreams. My personal favorites to rewire the brain to heal from co-dependency and embody radical self-love are breathwork, EFT tapping and somatic healing.
I hope you enjoyed the 7 steps to getting ready for a healthy relationship. You deserve to rise in love, feel safe and wanted by your partner, and have deep long-lasting relationships. If you want to go deeper and rewire your brain to disrupt your relationship patterns, step into your power and become a magnet for conscious men or women, you can send me an email to learn about my programs.
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